i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
