so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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