very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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