Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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