Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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