did you get engaged???
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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