woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
