Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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