She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
