i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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