I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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