haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My dick has a subreddit
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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