bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
