ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
