yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
