There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
