I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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