im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
