Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
