I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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