We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Operation Purity has been aborted
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
