i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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