He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
