Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
