I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
