If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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