Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
