did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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