He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
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they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Bring me that man meat
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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