my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize