You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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