Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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