So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
