Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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