True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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