i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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