wakey wakey hands off snakey
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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