Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
