I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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