Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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