remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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