I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
