i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well you can't waste a boner
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
