I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
