Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You are a genius and a whore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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