When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
