I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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