3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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