Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
