it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
