Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
