yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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