I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
