dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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