2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
