I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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