Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize