So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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