Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
