Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
