is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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