I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
